The Questionnaire

"I also spend twenty minutes every morning sitting looking at a wall, which tends to settle my mind a bit."

What are you doing these days?
Hello. I’m doing quite a bit of presenting for Current TV. Also putting together this year’s ‘World’s Smallest Festival‘ in a back garden in London, trying my hand at stand up comedy, growing a vegetable garden on my balcony, and trying to get better at the ukulele.

What turns you on creatively?
In terms of putting myself in a creative ‘place’, I would say being around people who have a glint in their eye, and who make me laugh. I also spend twenty minutes every morning sitting looking at a wall, which tends to settle my mind a bit. Red wine also helps. I would like to say art galleries and stuff inspire me, but I just tend to feel very self-conscious there, and keep on thinking to myself ‘ooo, look at me, I’m in an art gallery’.

If you were a mind-reader whose mind would you like to read?
Reading my own is hard enough. But I’d probably say the mind of the guy who is interviewing me for a job tomorrow. Actually, there will be four people interviewing me. So can I say four minds? Or just one collective-interviewing mind?

If you could travel in time, which era would you visit?
The eighties, so that I could watch myself be born and all that stuff…

What is your favorite sound?
Hubbub in a London pub, the sound of a fire crackling. The female orgasm. But that last one is quite hard to generalise, and actually, thinking about it, that sound can be terrifying.

What is the album or song that influences you the most?
I love a song by Brian Eno called ‘On Some Faraway Beach’. Leonard Cohen is my favourite artist – don’t think I can choose a particular song…so just a CD of his greatest hits, please. Also, last year I got in to a brilliant singer called Lettie. She can be found here. She makes nice music videos.

What drives you crazy?
When people walk very slowly in front of you on the pavement, making it very difficult for you to get past them.

What makes you laugh?
When I read back my answer to the previous question. Ridiculous. Also seeing grown men in official Premier League football tracksuit tops. I also sometimes laugh at the simple fact of being alive and not knowing what the hell is going on. ‘The cosmic joke’, as some people call it.

If you had 3 wishes what would they be?
1) To be able to pay my rent.
2) To be decent at a musical instrument.
3) To get Leonard Cohen to perform at ‘the world’s smallest festival’.

What is the craziest thing you ever did?
Walked the length of Britain without spending any money at all.

What makes you feel embarrassed?
One of my part time jobs is quiz mastering in London pubs, and occasionally I massively mispronounce a word in one of the questions, which makes me look far less intelligent than how I should probably look as a Quiz Master.

What are your favorite web-sites (not including the ones that you are
participate in)?
b3ta.com, hardcorezen.blogspot.com, adam-buxton.co.uk

Who would you like to collaborate with? And why?
Chris Morris, probably – who wrote and directed the film ‘Four Lions’ which is just about to come out in the UK. He was responsible for the genius that is ‘The Day Today’, ‘Brass Eye’, and ‘Jam’…comedy programmes on British TV which were just insanely amazing.

What is the silliest thing you have ever done?
Went to Nepal for six months when I was 18. Far too young. The whole experience was very odd.

How would you make the world a better place?
I honestly would recommend that 20 minutes facing a wall thing that I talked about earlier…

What is your biggest weakness?
A bit of a lack of self-belief, an incredible amount of pointless over thinking, and an active imagination which often takes me down poorly lit cul-de-sacs…

Where will you be in 10 years?
On a platform waiting for a train to Glasgow. Not sure why, but that’s a fact. Trust me.

Write a question that you like to ask yourself and answer it.
Does the external world exist?
I’m not sure.

Who would you like to answer that Questionnaire?
Adam Buxton.

Donal Coonan is an actor and writer. He’s also a hosted the web show thisisaknife as well as several shows on Current TV, among them is Blag a Million.

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